Wizard of Shadow
by DragonCrazy
Summary: While fighting against Madara Uchiha, the five Kage are transported to Hogwarts. How will they get back? More importantly, how will Gaara get his revenge against the other Kage for forcing him to go to school? (FIFTH YEAR) No pairings.
1. The Five Kage VS Madara! Then Hogwarts?

**A/N: Before I begin:**

**1. I do not own Harry Potter or Naruto.**

**2. I'm writing this to improve my writing skills. I'm trying to cut down on the dialogue.**

**3. I will not abandon my other story, HTFFAG**

**4. Please, please, please give me advice on anything related to writing!**

**5. I won't abandon this either.**

* * *

><p>All five Kage scowled, but didn't say anything to deny it.<p>

Tsunade felt like screaming. Madara was already an almost invincible opponent, but then he had to go and make himself immortal and get an infinite amount of chakra. He was right; they were doomed.

Madara smiled evilly. "Fire Style-!"

Before he could finish his technique, the Kazekage, Tsuchikage, Raikage, Hokage, and the Mizukage were enveloped in a soft blanket of light, vanishing and leaving behind a very confused Madara.

"Where did they go…?" he mumbled, feeling kind of stupid. "Oh well, better go help Obito!"

* * *

><p>The five Kage tumbled onto the ground ungracefully. Or, to be more accurate, Tsunade, A, Onoki, and Mei tumbled onto the ground while cursing each other and Gaara floated on a cloud of sand serenely.<p>

The four Kage got up and glared at Gaara.

"You sand-nin were always a bunch of show-offs!" accused Onoki furiously, clutching at his back.

Tsunade, A, and Mei simply glared at him.

Gaara shrugged. "My sand automatically protects me. It's not my fault you lack grace and agility."

"YOOOOUUU!" shouted Mei. "Lava Style-!" "Excuse me."

The five Kage turned around towards the voice and sweat-dropped.

About one-thousand children were staring at them along with twenty or so adults. An old man with an extremely long white beard was pointing a… stick at them.

"_Who are you_?"

* * *

><p>Madara smiled serenely at a horrified Naruto.<p>

"B-but, if you're here… WHAT HAPPENED TO THE KAGE?" shouted Naruto, preparing to hear the words-

"I don't know," said Madara, his creepy smile replaced with a confused look.

Naruto, Kakashi, Killer B, and Obito blinked. Finally, Naruto said, "Whaaa?"

Madara scratched his head. "I was about to finish them, but they disappeared. I have no idea what happened to them."

"You mean they disappeared to another dimension, like with my Sharingan?" asked Obito.

"Um, no, they were… How do I say it… Eaten by a white light," explained Madara. "Though it is possible they're in another dimension."

"Hn…" mumbled Obito. "Whatever, deal with them later. Uh, what were we doing again?"

"You were trying to kill me," said Kakashi helpfully. "And I was trying to figure out how you turned evil."

Obito brightened. "Ah, of course! Uh… DIE, KAKASHI!"

"WHY, OBITO? WHY?" howled Kakashi, his hand sparking into a Chidori.

Naruto sweat-dropped.

Madara face-palmed_. I really need to get a new lieutenant_.

* * *

><p>The five looked at the old man blankly.<p>

"…What did he just say?" asked A. The others shrugged and tried to come up with a plan.

Finally, the five Kage came to a conclusion. The Mizukage and Hokage, Mei and Tsunade respectively, were too hot-headed and would probably end up making the old man angry, which they probably didn't want to do since they were in a room (HALL) full of (probably) able children and adults of unknown strength. The Tsuchikage, Onoki was just too old and had zero respect for people who don't earn it, and the Raikage was too brash and also hot-headed.

Gaara felt his heart sink when he realized that he was the only suitable candidate for handling the old man who spoke in a strange language.

Mei smiled evilly and pushed Gaara forward.

Tsunade smiled evilly as well and walked over to Gaara, who had landed on the floor on his feet.

* * *

><p>The people in the hall were still staring at them expectantly.<p>

"Who are they?" muttered Harry, staring at the five mysterious strangers.

"I don't know, but they must be wizards!" whispered Hermione.

"What makes you say that?" asked Ron, confused. Hermione groaned. "Ron, the red-headed one is sitting on a cloud of _sand_. No muggle can do that!"

Ron looked blank for a moment, then said, "Ahhh. I see."

Hermione sighed. Ron could be so stupid sometimes. Actually, all the time.

Finally, the red-headed one on the cloud of sand was shoved forward by a woman with auburn hair who was grinning kind of evilly. He landed on the ground like a cat, but was then pushed by the blonde woman.

Everyone in the Great Hall (excluding the strangers) felt their jaws touch the floor as the red-headed teenager flew across the hall along with a cloud of sand and crashed into a cushion of sand.

The two women looked slightly disappointed.

"B-blood-"

"Ron!" hissed Hermione. "Language!"

Ron scowled but didn't say anything.

Finally, the teenager got up and said something in another language.

"_I am Gaara of the Sand, and this is_-" He broke off and said drily, "_You don't understand me, do you_?"

Dumbledore mumbled, "Japanese," and flicked his wand at them, which made them flinch slightly.

"There, can you understand me now?" asked Dumbledore. The red-head nodded. Now that Harry got a closer look at him, the teenager looked like a raccoon with his rimmed eyes. Mascara, perhaps?

"I am Sabaku no Gaara," said… Sabaku?

Dumbledore tilted his head. "Since in your language you introduce yourself with your last name first, is it safe to conclude that your name is Gaara?"

Gaara nodded while Harry felt kind of stupid for thinking that 'Sabaku' was his first name.

"That is-" (Gaara pointed at the blonde woman) "Senju Tsunade, the other woman is Terumi Mei, the old one is Onoki-" (Harry couldn't help but feel that they weren't on the best terms from the glare that Onoki gave Gaara) "-and the last one is A."

Dumbledore blinked. "Just 'A'?"

'A' growled. "Yes, 'just A.'"

Dumbledore nodded sagely. "I see. And where are you from?"

Gaara gave the others a quick glance. Tsunade muttered something in Japanese. "_Tell them the truth_."

Gaara nodded. "We were in a middle of a battle."

Dumbledore looked at their injuries. They sure looked like they were. "Against whom?"

Gaara bit his lip. "Uchiha Madara."

Dumbledore raised his eyebrow. "One person?"

"A crazy strong one person," growled A. "We Kage are one of the strongest ninja of our era, and we still couldn't beat him."

"Oh?" said Dumbledore. "Why?"

"How do I phrase this?" mused Gaara.

"He's a psychopath who wants world peace," offered Tsunade.

Hermione got up. "B-but, isn't world peace a _good_ thing? Why would you want to stop that?"

Harry stiffened. What if they were in league with Voldemort?

Gaara glanced at Hermione. "I don't know about you, but to me, reality, even one in constant bloodbath, is preferable to an illusion of peace."

Hermione looked terrified, but she managed to say, "W-what do you mean?"

"Madara wants to cast the ultimate illusion over the world using the moon as a chakra source so that it will be eternal," said Mei irritably. "We aren't fighting against peace, we're fighting to keep reality."

Hermione's eyes widened. "How is that even possible?!"

"We are ninja. With chakra, anything is possible," said Tsunade. She suddenly gasped.

"Oh no!"

The four looked at her.

"I think we're in another dimension!"

Onoki let out a sigh. "Uchiha possesses the Mangekyou Sharingan. According to our sources, the other Madara can transport people to other dimensions. It is possible."

The pink toad-like woman who had just finished her impossibly dull speech (_Umbridge, I think_, recalled Harry) coughed lightly.

"Excuse me," she said in a honeyed tone. "But I was wondering was a 'Ka-gay' is."

Gaara glared at A. A looked slightly horrified as he realized what he had said previously.

_"__We Kage are one of the strongest ninja of our era, and we still couldn't beat him."_

"A Kage is the leader of a village," explained Tsunade, also glaring at A.

Umbridge smiled sweetly, making Harry want to throw up. "What kind of villages?"

From the way Tsunade glared at Umbridge, she felt the same.

"I am the Hokage, the leader of Konohagakure, the Village Hidden by Leaves," she said, looking slightly smug.

"I am the Raikage, leader of Kumogakure, the Village Hidden by Clouds," grunted A, arms folded across his chest.

Mei smiled cheerfully. "I'm the Mizukage, leader of Kirigakure, the Village Hidden by Mist."

Onoki huffed. "I am the Tsuchikage, leader of Iwagakure, the Village Hidden by Rocks."

All eyes turned to Gaara almost disbelievingly.

_No way can that guy be a leader of a village, he's too young_, thought Harry.

"I am the Kazekage, leader of Sunagakure, the Village Hidden by Sand," he said lightly, teal eyes looking straight at Umbridge.

Umbridge narrowed her eyes. "Oh, really? But aren't you too young? How old are you, fifteen?"

Gaara appeared in a swirl of sand next to Umbridge. Everyone's eyes widened.

"I am seventeen," he said. "Please do not underestimate me. I am Kazekage for a reason."

Umbridge turned slightly red. Some of the students tried to cover up their giggles but failed.

"But he's only two years older than us!" whispered Ron loudly. Harry winced.

Gaara looked straight at Ron, making him shudder. "I have been Kazekage since I was fourteen. If I was not fit for the position, I would have been replaced already."

Hermione's eyes widened. "_Fourteen_?!"

Harry choked. Fourteen?

The other 'Kage' were coughing wildly and trying to cover up their laughter while Gaara glared at them except Onoki.

"Ahh, didn't the Tsuchikage verbally abuse him because of his age at the Kage Summit?" said Mei, giggling wildly.

Tsunade started howling with laughter. "Did he? That would've been something I would've paid to see! The Tsuchikage scolding the Kazekage!"

A coughed and generally sounded like he was dying.

Gaara twitched. "I want to Sand Coffin you all so much it hurts," he muttered.

Harry was confused. _Sand Coffin_?

Tsunade smirked. "Just try."

Mei was still laughing. "It's even funnier if you replace him with his father, the Fourth Kazekage! Imagine the Tsuchikage scolding the Fourth!"

Tsunade and A stared at her. Then…

"AH HA HA HA HA HA HA!"

Harry was pretty sure sand was not supposed to act like that. Before the sand could strangle the laughing Kage, Dumbledore spoke up.

"Very well, you may stay at Hogwarts as long as you do not hurt anyone," said Dumbledore. "Ms. Senju-

Tsunade held up a hand. "Please call me Tsunade. No one addresses me by my last name. It is the least I can do for your help."

The other Kage nodded, Onoki somewhat reluctantly.

Dumbledore smiled. "Tsunade, Mei, A, and Onoki may use the library and stay here, or teach."

Mei looked confused. "Teach?"

Dumbledore nodded. "Anything as long as it is approved by me."

Umbridge looked furious. "Now, Headmaster, shouldn't you run this by the Minister first?" she said dangerously.

Dumbledore beamed. "I will take care of it later. For now, you can board her."

They nodded.

"What about me?" asked Gaara.

Dumbledore smiled. "Since you're seventeen, you qualify to be a student at Hogwarts. Of course, you can stick with the other Kage as well, if you wish."

Mei and Tsunade choked. Harry had to admit, as ridiculous as the thought of a seventeen-year old leading a ninja village was, the thought of said leader of a ninja village attending Hogwarts was even more ridiculous.

Gaara was about to say 'no' when Tsunade said, "Well, why not?"

Gaara glared at her. Tsunade sighed. "Think about it. You're probably the only one out of us who hasn't gone to school."

Hermione's eyes widened. "But how did you become a Kage then?"

"Kage are usually the strongest ninja in their village. Besides, I did get tutored until I was seven, so I know the basics," said Gaara irritably.

Everyone stared at Gaara. "You mean you're the strongest? But you're so young!" said Hermione.

Gaara ignored her. Harry got the feeling that Gaara was getting irritated by all of the comments about his age.

"Everyone who wants the Kazekage to go to this school say 'Hai'," offered A.

"Hai."

"Hai."

"Hai."

"Hai."

"Traitors," muttered Gaara.

Dumbledore smiled brightly while Umbridge looked like she was going to explode. "So I guess Mr. Gaara will be going to Hogwarts! Minerva, the Sorting Hat, please!"

McGonagall motioned Gaara towards the stool. Gaara scowled but complied and sat down on the stool. Mei giggled.

A few seconds later…

"GRYFFINDOR!"

The Gryffindor House cheered loudly. Harry clapped with them. Fred and George practically jumped Gaara. Hermione was muttering the questions she was planning to ask him under her breath.

When the ruckus died down, Gaara stood up and glared at the other Kage. "As I am now a student, you will be doing all of my paperwork," he said curtly.

The other Kage looked horrified as Gaara walked angrily out of the Hall.

"This year's going to be very interesting," said Ron, eyes following Gaara.

Hermione gasped. "Oh no! He doesn't know where Gryffindor Tower is! Come on, Ron, get the first years!"

Ron looked flustered. "Er... OI, MIDGETS!"

"_Ron_, you can't call them midgets!"

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I know that Slytherin is where Gaara usually ends up, and Gryffindor is kind of typical, but honestly, can you see him in Hufflepuff or Ravenclaw? Plus, Gaara isn't really that 'ambitious'.**


	2. Intense Questioning and Annoying Toads

"Soo, you're Gaara, right?" asked George enthusiastically. "What kind of things can you do?"

Gaara didn't even look at him. "Hn."

He loathed Sasuke Uchiha, but that didn't mean that his techniques for ignoring fan-girls (in this case, fan-boys) weren't useful.

"C'mon, talk to us!" said Fred. "What's it like, leading a village? It must be awesome, right?"

Now this was a question he would happily answer. "If you like hundreds of pages of paperwork every day, then yes."

Lee swore he could hear the crickets outside Hogwarts in the silence that followed.

* * *

><p>Harry spotted Hermione eating toast ferociously at the Great Hall.<p>

"Hermione!" said Ron, noticing her as well. Hermione looked up from her breakfast.

Harry noticed that Hermione had bags under her eyes and was reading something.

"_'__The Possible Existing Dimensions_,'" he read. He looked at Hermione. "This is about the 'Kage', isn't it?"

Hermione looked enthusiastic. "Oh, yes! It's so intriguing! Apparently, there's been a few ninja who have been stranded here. Plus, there are a lot of other possible dimensions! For example-"

Ron cut her off. "Hermione, did you find out anything about the ninja?"

Hermione looked slightly crestfallen, but perked up again. "Read this."

She stuffed the heavy book into Ron's arms, making him stumble under the weight.

"Blimey, 'Mione, do you have super-strength or something?" he gasped.

Harry paid him no heed and read the paragraph.

"_'__There has been two instances in history where ninja from the dimension dubbed as the 'Ninja Continent' have come to this one. From the little information the 'ninja' have given out, it is safe to conclude that they have magic that is far more potent than a wizard's. In exchange, using too much magic (or 'chakra' as they have dubbed it) can potentially kill them. Other than the fact that they call spells 'jutsu' (translated into 'techniques') and they are far more fit than the average wizard, there is little intel on them, which is more than most other dimensions; indeed, some people think that they are our brother dimension._'"

"Interesting," drawled a familiar voice behind them.

Harry and Ron jumped. The creepy raccoon-guy was right behind them.

Hermione jumped as well, but said bravely, "Is this information right?"

Gaara looked at her with calculating eyes. Hermione shivered.

Ron yelped. It soon became apparent as to why when Gaara began dissolving into sand.

"…_Yes_."

* * *

><p>From the staff table where the remaining four Kage resided, Onoki snorted as he watched Gaara dissolve into sand. "The little brat always did like theatrics."<p>

All of them had bags under their eyes and were yawning. The night before, they had also (with a lot of shouting and arguing) decided to teach physical fitness. Tsunade thought that all of them really rather needed it.

At this rate, though, they were probably going to collapse in exhaustion.

"How does the Kazekage do it?" asked Mei rhetorically in despair. "I feel like dying!"

"Shukaku," offered A.

Tsunade twitched. "Shukaku was extracted from him."

"Habit," amended A. Tsunade just groaned, clutching at her head.

"Ugh, this is worse than a hangover. And I don't even have my medicine!"

* * *

><p>"Mr. Sabaku," said McGonagall, walking up to him. "You should be at the Great Hall."<p>

Gaara just gazed at the Black Lake. "Hn."

McGonagall internally rolled her eyes. "Very well, what year have you gotten up to?"

Gaara didn't even look at her. "Fifth."

She gasped slightly. "Already? But surely you didn't have enough time! Are you sure?"

"I don't sleep. I am also a very fast learner," said Gaara calmly.

The sleep part was correct, but to be honest, Gaara just used Kage Bunshin to breeze through the years. Though his head hurt from the memory backlash.

At times like this, he really admired Naruto. The boy used hundreds of Kage Bunshin and didn't even blink when they dispersed.

McGonagall blinked, then said, "Fine. Here is your schedule. You will be attending the same classes as Harry Potter and Ron Weasley since they will be your guide."

"Hn."

McGonagall sighed and left, but not before saying, "Classes start at nine."

* * *

><p>"I wonder where that creepy raccoon-guy is," muttered Ron as he, Harry, and Hermione walked to History of Magic.<p>

"That creepy raccoon-guy is right behind you," said Gaara calmly.

The trio jumped. "Ah, jeez, Gaara, stop doing that!" yelped Ron. Harry felt his heart pound wildly.

Gaara was amused, not that he would ever admit that.

"So… Where is this History of Magic?"

* * *

><p>"So, Gaara, what did you think of Professor Binns?" asked Ron as the class drowsily exited the classroom.<p>

Gaara felt slightly worried. "Are all teachers like this?"

* * *

><p>(Time skip to Divination)<p>

Ron, Harry, and Gaara went into the classroom. Gaara's head suddenly started ringing as the perfume hit him.

Harry noticed Gaara wincing slightly and felt sympathetic.

"It's a little more tolerable by the window," he offered. Gaara nodded.

The class settled down, just in time to witness Trelawney sneaking up on a certain sand-nin.

"You are fated to die- EEEK!" she shrieked as sand pinned her to the wall across the room.

Harry felt oddly happy and sadistic.

Gaara slowly turned his head away from the open window. "What did you do to the teacher?"

Everyone was silent, until they realized what Gaara was thinking.

"BWA HA HA HA HA!" wheezed Ron. "Gaara- you- that's the actual teacher!"

"You thought she had kidnapped the actual professor?" gasped Dean.

Harry grinned at Dean. "Sometimes I completely agree!"

Gaara just sighed.

* * *

><p>(Time skip to Defense Against the Dark Arts)<p>

"Good afternoon, class!" trilled Umbridge as Harry tried not to vomit at the impossible amount of pink saturating the classroom.

A few people mumbled 'good afternoon'.

Harry got a very bad feeling when Umbridge smiled, revealing her sharp, pointy teeth.

"Ohhh, we can't have that, can we?" crooned Umbridge. "Let's try again! When I greet you, I would like you to say, 'Good afternoon, Professor Umbridge'!"

"Good afternoon, Professor Umbridge."

Umbridge smiled sickeningly, until she spotted Gaara. "And who might you be?"

Gaara just stared blankly at the wall. "A human being."

Someone coughed.

Umbridge narrowed her eyes. "And what are you doing here?"

"Living. Breathing."

Umbridge smiled. "No, no, no! I'm afraid you don't understand! Please leave. Now."

Gaara didn't even look at her. "No."

Umbridge's smile disappeared completely. "That wasn't a question."

"Hn."

"Leave!" snapped Umbridge, losing her cool completely. Harry grinned along with Ron. Hermione looked slightly horrified.

"Hn."

"As Undersecretary to the Minister, and your professor, you have no choice!"

Gaara finally looked at her, looking really annoyed.

"Are you suggesting that you outrank me? Because I'm afraid you are incorrect. Politically, I outrank _you_. Should I remind you that I have over ten-thousand skilled ninja at my fingertips? I myself am a very skilled ninja. One of the best, actually. So shut up," he said calmly.

Umbridge spluttered, "But you can't even get back to your own dimension! So your rank is for naught!"

She looked triumphant.

Gaara 'hn-ed'. "When I get back, I assure you I will be able find a way to return here. Even if I couldn't, I still have the ability to crush you in less than a second without even trying."

Umbridge turned purple, but she didn't press the matter.

At times like this, Harry was strongly reminded of the fact that despite being a leader of a village, Gaara was still a teenager, and teenagers frequently have violent mood swings.

* * *

><p>After getting a week's worth of detention from Umbridge (oh, how he wished Gaara had crushed her like he had threatened to do), the Gryffindors and the Slytherins walked over the Black Lake, where P.E. would be held. (<strong>AN: P.E. is Physical Education, probably not the correct term in British**)

The four Kage were already there, waiting (and reading a very thick book).

Harry noticed that Gaara smirked at this.

When the two groups settled down, Mei smiled at them brightly. "Which group is this?"

"Fifth year Gryffindors and Slytherins," answered Hermione brightly.

Harry suddenly wondered what Gaara's gourd held.

Mei turned to the other Kage, who were suddenly smiling maliciously. "The Kazekage is in this group, correct, Tsunade?"

Tsunade grinned and suddenly appeared next to Gaara. She flung him toward the other Kage, who were cracking their knuckles.

"Water Release: Water Dragon Bullet Technique!" sang Mei, making movements with her hands for some reason. To the class' shock, a bullet of water shaped like a dragon hurtled towards Gaara. A's fist followed, along with Tsunade's. Onoki floated into the air.

Harry felt horrified. Gaara was doomed.

All three attacks hit their target, making everyone wince.

The dust cleared, revealing… a mound of sand.

Mei grinned. "A Sand Clone! Of course, that's to be expected of the Kazekage!"

The class was buzzing with anticipation. Where was Gaara?

A claw of sand appeared from nowhere, crashing down at Mei at an incredible speed. Mei grinned again and dodged. The claw left a deep crater behind.

Hermione gasped. "Up there!"

Everyone, even the Slytherins, looked up at where Hermione was pointing. Gaara was standing rather dramatically on a cloud of sand.

"Even the Kage have their weak points!" said Tsunade. "Yours is obviously taijutsu. When we break through your defense, you'll be left defenseless, no better than a mere chuunin."

Gaara smirked. "Which is why my sand isn't called the 'Ultimate Defense' for nothing."

Tsunade scoffed. "You couldn't even beat Deidara!"

"And you couldn't beat Orochimaru," said Gaara calmly. "Besides, Deidara was a S-ranked criminal."

Tsunade exchanged glances with A. They both leapt up into the air and punched at Gaara. Gaara whizzed away on his sand. Mei shot another water bullet at him, and the Tsuchikage cackled evilly.

"There's no way you can beat all of us, boy!" Onoki laughed. "You will pay for the work you dumped on us!"

The class sweat-dropped.

"Ahem."

Everyone froze. Tsunade and A landed on the ground.

"As amusing as this is… shouldn't you be teaching class?" said Dumbledore, looking amused.

Mei looked slightly sheepish. "Ah… Sorry, Headmaster. You must understand that he left us to figure out how to get back in the library all night. Those books about dimensions and such are incredibly dull."

"Professor _Binns'_ lessons are incredibly dull," retorted Gaara.

"Wait!" said Harry, shocked. "You mean you actually _listen_ to him?!"

Gaara tilted his head. "Yes. Aren't you supposed to listen to your teachers?"

Harry heard Ron spluttering behind him, while Hermione nodded approvingly. "You two should be more like him," she hissed.

Dumbledore laughed. "Yes, but I'm afraid no one actually listens to Professor Binns, which is why History of Magic is not required in a lot of professions. Students find it too dull."

"Hmm," mused Gaara. "So I shouldn't listen to Professor Umbridge, Snape, and Trelawney?"

Ron burst out laughing, while Hermione looked scandalized.

"Oh, no," said Dumbledore, his eyes sparkling (Harry never got how he did it). "Well, I'll leave the Kage to their class. Good-bye!"

Dumbledore walked towards Hagrid's cabin.

Mei sighed in disappointment, then looked at the class.

"Twenty laps around the lake! Gaara, you do fifty! No sand!"

"What?!"

"My father will hear of this!"

"That's impossible!"

"WHAT?!"

Gaara just sighed. Shikamaru was right, women _were_ troublesome.

* * *

><p>"I feel like dying," moaned Ron, collapsing next to Harry. Hermione was still on her fifteenth lap. Harry had been one of the first to finish, and for the first time, he was grateful for Dudley's favorite game, 'Harry Hunting'.<p>

Gaara had finished his fifty laps before anyone had finished their tenth, and didn't look that winded.

"How does he do it?" hissed Ron, gasping for breath. "That's… Inhumane!"

Mei smiled. "IF YOU DON'T FINISH IN THE NEXT TWENTY MINUTES, THIRTY POINTS FROM EACH STUDENT!"

Harry could only watch in sympathy as the remaining students stumbled into a run.

* * *

><p>After dinner (and showers), the fifth year Gryffindors were all in their common room, doing their massive amount of homework (The Kage had assigned fifty push-ups a day, which everyone moaned at the prospect of doing).<p>

Hermione stabbed the period in her Potions essay, sighing. "Done!"

Everyone looked enviously at her.

Gaara was apparently also finished, as he was gazing at the fire that was roaring in the fire-place.

Hermione walked over tentatively to Gaara and smiled. "Hi."

"Hn."

"Can I ask you some questions?"

Suddenly, everyone in the common room was paying attention to the conversation.

"Hn."

Hermione decided that it was a 'yes' and went on.

"Where is your village located?"

"Hn."

"Do you have any family?"

"Hn."

"What do Kage do?"

"Hn. Paperwork."

Hermione smiled, thinking that Gaara had finally decided to open up.

Ron whistled. "Only paperwork? What do you do for fun?"

"I don't know about the other Kage, but I have so much that I have almost no free time, even though I work 24/7," said Gaara. "Your homework is easy in comparison."

Horrified silence.

Hermione coughed nervously. "How… interesting. Can you teach us your techniques?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Village secret."

"Basics?"

"No."

"Can everyone in your village use sand?"

Gaara blinked. "No."

Hermione was intrigued. "Why not?"

"Can everyone in your world use magic?"

Hermione shook her head. "Of course not! Oh, I see. You have to be born with it!" She smiled triumphantly.

"No."

"What?"

"It's not something you can be naturally born with, unless I myself had children," said Gaara, his face illuminated by fire.

Hermione blinked. "But then how were you born with it?"

"Hn."

Hermione grew frustrated. "Fine, then what exactly is a Shukaku, how was it extracted from you, and what does it have to do with insomnia?"

Gaara faced Hermione, making her jump slightly.

"Where did you hear that?"

A smile grew on Hermione's face. "The Kage were talking about it at breakfast. What's Shukaku?"

Gaara narrowed his eyes. "Idiots." Harry got the feeling he was talking about the Kage.

Gaara looked at Hermione. "None of your business."

Hermione looked hurt. "But I really want-"

"Goodbye."

Gaara dissolved into sand and drifted away, leaving behind a group of curious Gryffindors.

* * *

><p><strong>Omake: The Two Counselors<strong>

Sabaku No Gaara. Jinchuriki, most feared ninja in Suna, former psychopath, and…

Counselor?

Gaara twitched as he waited for his first 'patient'. He had no idea what the council was playing at; they must have gone senile from the heat. Apparently, as a former psychopath, he was the best choice as a counselor since 'he knew how they thought.' This job also had the benefit of mending ties with Konoha, since they were sending their ninja over to Suna for… 'intense mental help.'

Crazy.

Gaara was torn from his thoughts when the door slid open, revealing…

Rock Lee, who was on crutches, making Gaara wince slightly. Currently, Lee was babbling about youth when he spotted Gaara. Lee smiled blindingly, making Gaara's sand cover his eyes.

"So, my youthful partner, I see you have finally torn yourself from the unyouthful influence inside your mind!" cheered Lee.

Gaara choked. "Did you just say partner?!"

Lee smiled. "Indeed! Together we will show the world our immense youth!"

Gaara could only stare, horrified. So this was his punishment. He would've preferred torture or execution.

Lee was still smiling. "Ah! Our first youthful patient is here!"

As if on cue, the door slid open, revealing…

* * *

><p><strong>Omake: The Lazy Jinchuriki<strong>

"Gaara, do you want to spar with me?" asked Yashamaru. Gaara yawned. "Too troublesome."

Yashamaru looked frustrated. "Do you have anything better to do?"

"Hm… Sleeping," said Gaara lazily.

"Interesting," said Yashamaru icily, glaring at Gaara, who was sprawled on his bed. "Especially since you _can't sleep_."

Gaara didn't look up from his pillow. "What can I say, I'm special. Good night."

"It's nine in the morning!" shouted Yashamaru. He stomped out of the room to the Kazekage's office.

"Were all of Shukaku's vessels this lazy?" asked Yashamaru in disbelief the moment he opened the door.

The Kazekage looked up from his paperwork and sighed. "No. We just got unlucky."

Yashamaru scowled. "At this rate, Gaara won't even want to be a ninja. Actually, scratch that, he already doesn't want to be a ninja. What are we supposed to do?"

"Assassinate him. Now stop bothering me, I have a lot of paperwork today," snapped the Kazekage, looking at the mountain of paper on his desk in despair. Yashamaru shook his head and started making a plan.

"Please die."

Gaara didn't even look back. "Hm… Whatever."

Yashamaru seriously doubted that Gaara knew that someone was trying to assassinate him.

"**You idiot, someone's trying to kill you!"** shouted Shukaku in Gaara's mind.

"Hmm," thought Gaara. "Whatever."

**"****HOW DID I GET SUCH AN IDIOT FOR A VESSEL!?**" screamed Shukaku, actually crying.

Gaara simply looked at the moon and thought, "It's so pretty today."

Shukaku groaned and decided that if Yashamaru succeeded in killing Gaara, he was going to beg the Kazekage to at least give him a vessel that was more active.

Yashamaru's eye twitched in annoyance.

* * *

><p><strong>Omake: The Library<strong>

**(This was actually part of the story until I realized that it contradicted the timeline as the Kage were supposed to be teaching...)**

Mei plopped a stack of thick, dusty books on the desk.

Onoki mumbled something about 'old age'.'

A and Tsunade swiftly glared at him. "Oh no you aren't!" snapped Tsunade. "What happened to the stubborn old geezer who insisted on doing everything by himself?"

The Tsuchikage huffed but snatched a book from the pile.

"_'__The Theory of Dimensions_,'" he read. This was not going to be fun.

"Ugh," groaned Tsunade. "At times like this, an insomniac would be seriously useful. Maybe Gaara…?"

A shook his head. "The little brat said that he was leaving all the paperwork to us."

Mei scowled. "The Kazekage is cleverer than I thought."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I wasn't going to update this early, but as a little treat...**

**I will try to update every week, I want to finish this as soon as I can without getting writer's block. I'll be alternating between this and my other story, How To Fall For A Girl, so that I won't get bored with both.**

**Please review! They motivate me!**


	3. Hired to Babysit

A few wisps of sand blew near the four brooding Kage. Onoki didn't even wonder why there was sand near a forest.

"Kazekage, you finally decided to show your lazy behind," growled A, cracking his knuckles in anger.

The sand solidified into a person. Gaara smirked. "I do need to keep up with my classwork, you know."

Tsunade's eye twitched. "Cut the innocent act. We all know that you are the only Kage that actually does all his paperwork. Schoolwork is nothing in comparison. In fact, how do you get all that work done and still have free time to meditate and stare at the moon _every freaking day_?!"

Gaara merely smiled mysteriously as the other Kage stared at him jealously. "I have my ways."

Onoki scowled, but didn't say anything. "Hmph. Well, did you do anything remotely useful while masquerading as a student?"

"There is a book," said Gaara calmly. "About the theory of dimension-traveling. The Elemental Countries are in there."

A and Tsunade choked and looked horrified.

Mei was twitching. "W-w-w-we- l-library –a-all n-n-night… _HOOOOOOWWWW_!"

Gaara smiled mysteriously again. "I have my ways. Now be quiet, you're ruining the view."

Onoki stared at him. "What view?"

"The moon," Gaara answered, his eyes turning silver as his head tipped up towards the full moon. "You know, I think I'll just go to the Astronomy Tower, I heard it's quite a nice view."

With that, the Kazekage of Suna disappeared in a swirl of sand.

"… The Kazekage is even stranger than his father," mumbled Mei.

Tsunade sighed. "Trust me, according to what Naruto told me, he was even stranger before Naruto knocked some sense into him."

* * *

><p>"The moon is beautiful tonight."<p>

"EEEK!" screamed Aurora Sinistra along with her second-year class.

Gaara didn't even glance at her.

"H-how," stuttered Professor Sinistra. "I-I didn't even hear you come up the tower…!"

"Because I didn't."

"What do you mean?" asked Sinistra, confused. Unless he flew up here, there was no other way up the tower. Even then, someone would've seen him.

"Teleportation," said Gaara calmly.

Sinistra's eyes bugged. "But that's impossible in Hogwarts! There's no way-"

"Please shut up, I'm trying to enjoy the full moon."

Sinistra slowly turned red, but didn't say anything. He was a fellow astronomer (kind of), which were, for some strange reason, rare. Something about the night sky being a little dull.

* * *

><p>Dumbledore sighed inside his office. From what little he knew about ninja, they were mercenaries. He wondered…<p>

Ninja were extremely powerful. It would be beneficial to have even a Genin, a ninja of the lowest rank (and skill), on the Order's side. A Kage, a ninja equal to or even more skilled than an S-ranked ninja would be even better. Heck, they could probably kill Voldemort without breaking sweat.

However…

It was Harry's duty to kill Voldemort. It wasn't like Dumbledore was trying to 'fufill a prophecy' for the 'greater good' or anything, the cold, hard truth was that Voldemort couldn't be killed before, in a sense, Harry was killed.

Still, having ninja on his side would be a huge asset. Making up his mind, Dumbledore decided to call in the five Kage after classes the next day.

* * *

><p>"Gaara!" shouted Ron as he spotted the elusive red-head. "Where were you?"<p>

Gaara ate his toast calmly. "Out."

Harry and Hermione, who were flanking Ron, looked curious. "Where did you sleep then?" asked Hermione.

"I don't sleep," said Gaara, sipping a cup of coffee. Shukaku had really liked that stuff and would give him a splitting headache if he didn't drink it every morning as soon as he got up **(this is from a fic where Gaara and Hinata switch bodies; I don't remember the author and title, but kudos to you!)**. Now it was just part of his routine.

Hermione gasped at the sight of the coffee, and snatched it away. "You need sleep! Plus, coffee isn't good for you!"

Gaara just looked at her, then whipped out another cup of coffee out of nowhere.

Harry and Ron just stared at him.

"My sister is always stealing my coffee," he explained, sipping it.

"Um… Okay… Uh… Bye?" said Ron, staring at the cup and slowly backing away.

* * *

><p>Up at the staff table, Onoki cackled, Mei dutifully read a dull and dusty book, Tsunade sipped a cup of sake, and A was itching to get outside.<p>

All in all, it was a normal day.

* * *

><p>"H-h-hello t-there!" squeaked a midget (A.K.A. a first year), looking terrified.<p>

"Hn," mumbled Gaara, looking at the midget. "What?"

"Ack! I-I mean, here-you-go-bye-my-mum-is-calling-me!" squealed the midget, rushing off to who-knows-where after handing an envelope to Gaara.

Gaara looked curiously at the envelope in his hands and opened it.

Ron snickered. "Ahh, if I could inflict that kind of fear on first years, life at Hogwarts would be perfect." He stopped and pretended to think about it. "Of course, Harry would also have to stop getting into life-threatening situations, but apart from that, life would be perfect. And of course, Hermione-"

"Shut up, Ron," said Harry irritably. He was getting tired of people staring and pointing at him. The phrases he caught from time to time didn't help.

"Harry, something wrong?" asked Ron, concerned. His friend usually didn't have such a short fuse unless something really bad had happened.

"Ron!" hissed Hermione. "Be quiet! Gaara, what does your letter say?"

Gaara had just finished reading his letter. "Hn. Headmaster."

Hermione looked interested. "Oh? Why?"

"I don't know," answered Gaara, preparing to wow the students of Hogwarts by disappearing in a whirl of sand again. "It doesn't say. Bye."

He dissolved into sand.

Ron shook his head. "How in the world does he do that?"

* * *

><p>The Kage who were unfortunate enough to have a school full of whiny children dumped on them AND had a massive amount of reading to do were already at Dumbledore's office, relieved to have something else to do. It was almost painful to see students forced to walk after running half a lap around the lake.<p>

The Kage that was lucky enough to get to relax and do nothing at school all day was currently solidifying into a person, his half-formed face looking calm. As usual.

Not for the first time, Onoki cursed his old age and the Kazekage.

"Ah, Lord Kazekage!" said Dumbledore brightly. "You have arrived!"

"Hn," said Lord Kazekage. Ah, the Sasuke Method was so darn useful! Gaara wondered why he hadn't done this before.

Probably because he loathed the Uchiha, but whatever.

Dumbledore merely smiled as Tsunade wondered why Gaara was acting so much like Sasuke.

"Now that we're all here," said Dumbledore. "I will tell you the reason why I have summoned you here."

Tsunade coughed, randomly remembering Naruto summoning toads. Especially Gamabunta.

"I would like to hire you," said Dumbledore, his glasses glinting.

"What?" exclaimed Tsunade. "Did I hear you properly?"

Dumbledore smiled. "Yes. I would like to hire you to protect Harry Potter."

A scowled. "Never heard of him."

Onoki shrugged. "I agree with Lord Raikage."

Mei looked confused. "Harry who?"

Tsunade merely raised an eyebrow.

Gaara 'hn-ed'. The Uchiha were evil, but they were genii **(plural for genius)** when it came to avoiding conversations. If their side had won the war by the time they got back, he would use this to avoid annoying council members.

Unfortunately, the famous Uchiha "Hn" didn't work on Dumbledore. "I believe you know Mr. Potter?"

Gaara sighed. "Yes."

Dumbledore smiled. "Excellent!"

"Well, since you are hiring us, what are you offering?" asked Tsunade diplomatically.

"I hope this isn't too much to ask for, but if you can, a few hours away from the library, and-"

"We accept!" said Onoki quickly. Tsunade, Mei, and A nodded frantically.

Gaara didn't say anything, but mentally filed the information away for later. Apparently, Kage agreed to anything that involved getting away from paperwork or the library. This could be useful for diplomatic meetings and such.

"And," continued Dumbledore, sounding amused. "A hundred Galleons each. Two hundred for Lord Kazekage."

"Why?" asked Onoki, snapping out of his euphoria.

"Well, as he will be around Mr. Potter the most, he will be the most involved with guarding him," explained Dumbledore. Onoki huffed slightly at the injustice of being inferior to a child like the Kazekage.

Gaara sighed. His nice, relaxing vacation was over. Unless…

"I refuse-"

"OH NO YOU DON'T!" shouted Tsunade, realizing what Gaara was about to do. "Everyone who wants Lord Kazekage to babysit the Potter kid say 'Hai'!"

The other Kage caught on quickly.

"Hai!"

"Hai!"

"Hai!"

"Hai!"

"Traitors," mumbled Gaara, hurt.

Dumbledore chuckled. "Well, off you go then. The mission officially starts today, and ends whenever you find a way to get back. Please just come receive the pay from me before going."

They nodded.

Gaara sighed and disappeared in a whirl of sand. His nice, relaxing vacation was over.

Stupid conniving and jealous Kage.

* * *

><p>"So, we should divide the duty into shifts," said Tsunade.<p>

The Kage were by the lake. Again.

A snorted. "Easy. Kazekage takes the brat during school hours and night."

Gaara scowled. "That's about 18 hours!" He froze. "Oh, wait… This is a boarding school!"

Mei smiled sweetly. "Did you just realize that?"

"But that means… Every hour is technically a school hour!" snapped Gaara. "I am not taking Potter 24/7! If you're going to do that, you'd better give all the pay to me!"

A scowled. "And I thought I had you tricked so well…"

Gaara glared at him, sand creeping up on the five ninja.

"Very well," said Onoki. "The Kazekage will take the Potter brat during classes, and we will alternate during the night. We will also take Potter when he has our class. Happy?"

_Sand works so well_, thought Gaara happily as said sand slithered back into his gourd.

* * *

><p><strong>Omake: The Two Counselors<strong>

Sasuke Uchiha stepped inside and scowled as he spotted the two 'counselors'.

"What did you do to my counselor?!" snapped Sasuke, shuriken out and ready to be thrown.

Gaara sweat-dropped.

Lee gave Sasuke a thumbs-up. "Do not worry, my youthful charge! We are your youthful counselors!" He winked.

Sasuke froze, then grabbed an ANBU that was waiting outside. "Is this true?!"

The ANBU nodded.

Sasuke twitched. "Why was I not informed of this?!"

The ANBU shrugged.

Lee flashed a smile. "My youthful patient, let us start by doing a few breathing exercises! One, two, one, two…"

Sasuke was busy making an escape plan. All he had to do was run when Lee closed his eyes. However, there was one problem. He glanced at Gaara.

Gaara sighed and nodded._ 'I won't stop you.'_

He watched unhappily as the lucky Uchiha hared away.

Lee opened his eyes. "Where did our youthful patient go?"

Gaara shrugged. The ANBU sighed.

"The next one is already here," said the masked ninja.

Lee flashed a smile at the poor man. "Of course! Please bring us our youthful charge!"

Gaara face-palmed.

The door slid open again, revealing…

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I'm toying with an idea I had, but I'm not sure if I want to post it since I already have two stories to work on. So I decided to let you all read part of it, then have you tell me whether you want me to continue it or not! (Actually, I have two, so I guess you can read the other one after I get the next chapter done.)**

* * *

><p>"Kakashi-sensei, you're late!" shouted Naruto, jumping up from his seat and pointing at the grey-haired jōnin.<p>

Kakashi smiled. "I got lost on the road of life."

"LIAR!"

"Ahem," coughed Tsunade. The two ninja turned to her.

Before she could kill them/say anything, Rock Lee burst into the office on crutches.

"I am here, youthful Lady Hokage!" saluted Lee, grinning.

Naruto turned to the Hokage. "Eh?! What's he doing here?! What's going on?"

Tsunade tutted. "There's two more coming."

"Who-" Before Naruto could get his sentence out, a certain sand ninja walked in calmly. Well, actually, appeared in a swirl of sand, but it's really the same thing.

"Gaara! What are you doing here?" shouted Naruto. "WHAT'S HAPPENING?!"

"What is he doing here?" growled Sasuke's voice.

Naruto spotted Sasuke, who has just came in through the window.

Naruto twitched. "OLD LADY, YOU'D BETTER TELL ME WHAT'S HAPPENING OR I'M RASENGAN-ING YOU TO THE GROUND!"

A vein appeared on Tsunade's face. "SHUT UP, YOU IMBECILE!"

"I was wondering what my mission was as well," said Gaara diplomatically.

Sasuke glared at him, but nodded. Lee grinned youthfully.

Tsunade smiled evilly, making Naruto shiver.

"You four are going on a year-long mission," she began.

Naruto's eyes widened comically, then he sighed in relief as he thought of something. "Oh, Kakashi-sensei, you are so screwed with a team like this!" he said gleefully.

Tsunade shook her head with sadistic glee, making Naruto and Kakashi wonder if she was somehow emulating Shukaku or the Kyūbi.

"Oh, no, Naruto. Kakashi will be staying here," she said, grinning. "The team will consist of you, Lee, Sasuke, and Gaara."

All four of them widened their eyes.

Naruto choked, then shouted, "AHA! I KNEW IT! YOU'RE SECRETLY INSANE, AREN'T YOU?! EVEN WORSE THAN GAARA WAS BEFORE THE CHŪNIN EXAMS!"

Gaara glared at him.

Sasuke narrowed his eyes. "Who are you and where is the Hokage?"

Tsunade glared at them. "Hmph." Then she grinned again, making all of them (including Lee) shiver. "Heh heh, that's not all."

Kakashi smiled at the sight of two of his cute little students being tortured.

"Your mission is to guard a school, and boy named Potter Harry in particular." She paused to let that sink in. "And you are required to go to school."

"What?!" Sasuke shouted. "That's- Do we have to go undercover?"

"No," answered Tsunade, still emulating Shukaku.

Gaara narrowed his eyes. "I request a different mission." He glanced at a hyper and excited Lee. "My mind is... still fragile."

Naruto and Sasuke turned and glared at him furiously.

"Coward!" Sasuke snapped.

Naruto twitched. "WE ALL KNOW THAT ISN'T TRUE, YOU LIAR! USING SHUKAKU TO GET OUT OF BABYSITTING DUTY! WHAT A DIRTY TRICK!"

Tsunade shook her head, still grinning evilly. "Nice try."

Gaara sighed and contemplated going on a 'killing rampage' and 'accidentally' killing the Hokage and that annoying Uchiha as a bonus.

**"DO IT!"** hissed Shukaku excitedly.

_'Hmm... If Shukaku likes it, I probably shouldn't.'_

Shukaku sulked disappointedly.

"But why us? Why not someone like... Hyūga, Inuzuka, or even that Tenten girl?" suggested Sasuke desperately.

Tsunade sighed. "Well, you see, we can't really spare ninja of that caliber, plus, the headmaster who is hiring us is paying a lot of money for an A-rank. It also has the benefit of giving Lee a chance to go on a mission."

Gaara looked slightly guilty as Lee's face shone.

"My youthful Lady Hokage, I will not let you down!" he vowed. "I will give this mission my all!"

Tsunade smiled fondly at him, before glaring at the other three. "Why can't you be more like him?"

Naruto looked sick as he imagined Sasuke, Gaara, and himself in green spandex and bowl-cuts.

Sasuke and Gaara looked the same. Kakashi looked green and excused himself to go throw up.

Tsunade smiled nervously as she imagined the same image. "...you know what, never mind. Stay the way you are right now."

"So, wait," said Naruto, thinking back to what Tsunade had said before she had made that disturbing comment. "Basically, you're throwing all of the most useless ninja together to guard a school in exchange for a massive amount of money?"

Tsunade smiled while Sasuke and Gaara looked impressed at Naruto's rare show of intelligence.

"Why, Naruto, I knew you had a brain there somewhere!" said Tsunade brightly. "Yes! What better mission for an invalid nin than a nice, long mission guarding a bunch of fat, lazy civilians who have a little more control over their energy than ours? What better mission to show off your Rasengan and keep you safe from the Akatsuki? What better therapy than a school full of whiny brats?"

"Therapy?" hissed Sasuke, his Sharingan activated.

Gaara huffed slightly. He was better now! He hadn't killed anything in three days! That was a record for him!

...On second thought, maybe he _did_ need it.

"Of course, Suna will be getting one-fourth of the money," continued Tsunade. Gaara blinked.

Tsunade cackled. "There's so much I might as well give you some of it. Besides, a year with a thousand whiny brats is very trying; I wouldn't be surprised if you came back with grey hair, like our famed Copy-nin here," she said, gesturing to Kakashi.

Kakashi waved while the three of the four Genin gulped.

"Also, you will be sending weekly reports to me via the Headmaster's phoenix."

Naruto's eyes widened, but Tsunade cut him off.

"I'd ask if you wanted to accept, but you really have no choice, since I'm your Hokage, and Gaara is here to help us out, so I'm his leader for now as well!" said Tsunade brightly. "Also, there's a language barrier, so your forehead protectors... well, if you wear one," she added, glancing at Gaara and Lee. "Will be 'charmed' by one of the wizards you will meet there."

Naruto choked while Sasuke and Gaara's eyes widened slightly.

"What?! You didn't mention anything about wizards!" yelped Naruto.

Tsunade looked slightly sheepish. "... Oops? Well, the people you'll be protecting are wizards and witches. Their spells are kind of like our jutsu, but much less powerful."

Sasuke scowled. "So basically we're guarding a bunch of magical whiny brats. Why can't we let them die?"

"The money," reminded Tsunade.

"So how are we going to get there?" asked Naruto, looking around wildly.

Lee nodded. "How _are_ we going to get there, youthful Lady Hokage?"

Tsunade tossed Gaara a… sock. "With this."

They all stared at the sock, including Kakashi.

"Ah…. Kakashi-sensei, check to see if there are any sake bottles lying around," hissed Naruto.

Tsunade glared at him. "I am not drunk. In exactly two minutes, everyone and everything touching that sock will be transported to the wizarding world.

"That's it, our Hokage is senile," said Sasuke, shaking his head. "I'm leaving."

Tsunade grabbed him. "Oh no you don't, brat! Hand on the sock, now!"

Relunctantly, Sasuke and Gaara put their hands on the sock along with a cheerful Lee and an excited Naruto.

"Five, four, three, two, one," counted Tsunade.

"Bye-bye!" waved Kakashi as the four Genin disappeared. He turned to Tsunade, who was grinning.

"You know, Ino and Sakura are going to kill you for sending Sasuke away."

Tsunade's smile disappeared. "Darn, didn't think of that."

* * *

><p>Harry had just greeted Ron and Hermione and was about to go upstairs when:<p>

BANG.

Everyone froze, their wands out. Moody narrowed his magical eye, then relaxed ever-so-slightly. "It's them," he rasped.

The adults all relaxed.

"Wha?" said Ron, confused. "Who?"

Sirius grinned. "Man, you guys are going to have a fun year."

Harry blinked. "Sirius, what do you-"

Sirius smirked. "Come and see for yourself." He excitedly half-ran towards the sounds of banging and fighting.

Harry stared, then looked at Ron and Hermione.

Actually, only Ron, as Hermione had already disappeared.

Ron shrugged. "Couldn't hurt."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: This is only a rough draft, I'll probably revise it AGAIN, I'm not full satisfied with it.**


	4. The Elemental Countries and Stalkers

**A/N: I wasn't planning on updating so soon, but happy Thanksgiving! Oh, and I think I found a new beta! Thank you, M-python-girl for suggesting getting a beta for me. Though I still have a slight head-ache from browsing through all of those names. Oh well.**

* * *

><p>"Ok, we won the war and all… but…" Naruto looked at everyone in the room.<p>

"Our leaders have disappeared! We can't function without our Kage!"

Kakashi raised an eyebrow. "I thought you wanted to be Hokage?"

Naruto glared at him. "Not under these circumstances!"

Kakashi raised his hands in surrender. "Calm down, I was joking."

"Hmph," mumbled Naruto. "Whatever. I think we should have a team go out and try to find the Kage!"

"Who?" asked Shikamaru. "We can't spare any ninja, not right now."

"What about this?" asked Kakashi diplomatically. "We dispatch a few ninja to find them; face it, they're all extremely skilled ninja. The Hokage would be a HUGE help with her healing jutsu, the Kazekage's sand would save a large amount of time in rebuilding and such, the Tsuchikage is… wise, I guess, and the Raikage can help restore order and the reconstruction as well."

They all nodded.

"But, we also need someone to lead, so we should appoint temporary Kage in their absence. If the actual Kage are dead, then the temporary Kage will become actual Kage. Satisfied?" asked Kakashi.

They all nodded.

Hinata raised her hand. "But who will be the temporary Kage?"

"The Hokage should be Naruto," said Shikamaru. "He's practically saved the world, and if he was a leader, then morale would be boosted. It would be boosted even more if our missing Kage were recovered."

Everyone nodded in agreement.

"The Tsuchikage should be Kurotsuchi," continued Shikamaru.

Everyone nodded again.

"The Raikage should be Darui."

"Yeah."

"Yup."

"The Mizukage… Chojuro."

Chojuro widened his eyes slightly.

"And the Kazekage… Temari," finished Shikamaru.

Everyone nodded.

"What about the search team?" pressed Naruto.

"Well, since you're Hokage, you can't leave the village," said Shikamaru, making Naruto pout slightly.

"The team will be… Hinata, Neji, Sasuke, and Kankuro."

Hinata, Neji, and Kankuro nodded. Sasuke 'hn-ed'.

"Done?" sighed Shikamaru. "How troublesome…"

Temari's eye twitched, and she whipped out her fan. "_What_ did you say?"

* * *

><p>"Oh… uh, nothing!"<p>

"Guys..."

Hermione looked at Harry. "Yes?"

"Is Gaara… stalking me?" hissed Harry.

Ron coughed. "Say what?"

"He's been following me all day! It's getting creepy," said Harry, stealing a glance at Gaara.

Gaara didn't say anything. He could've tailed Harry without being noticed, but honestly, it was too troublesome and took up too much chakra for a mission like this one.

"I'm, uh, sure he doesn't swing that way, Harry," said Hermione, trying to comfort Harry.

Ron snickered.

"Thanks a lot, Hermione, I feel so much better now!" said Harry sarcastically.

Hermione huffed. "Oh, be quiet, Ron."

* * *

><p>"So, how was the day?" asked Mei, reading yet another book.<p>

"Potter and his friends think that I am stalking them," snapped Gaara, irritated.

Tsunade coughed, while A struggled to keep a straight face. "I see," said Tsunade, her mouth twitching.

Gaara growled.

"Well, now that Gaara's shift is over, who is going to take the next one?" said Onoki, flipping to a new page.

"Me!"

The Kage, excluding the fuming Kazekage, all glared at each other.

"I've been researching all day!" snapped Mei. "Unlike the rest of you!"

"I need a break from these dusty books!" retorted Onoki.

"What if Potter gets injured? I am the only medic!" reasoned Tsunade, glaring.

"It'd be nice to actually stretch my legs and go for a walk," said A honestly.

"All of us know a healing jutsu or two… I think," said Mei, glaring back at Tsunade.

"Gaara only knows sand-related jutsu!"

"Well, Gaara's shift is over!"

"Well-"

"Shut up," snapped Gaara. Everyone glared at him.

Tsunade cracked her knuckles, while Onoki, Mei, and A starting forming hand-seals.

* * *

><p>"I've found Lady Mizukage's chakra signature!"<p>

Naruto was at the ninja's side in an instant. "Where?"

The ninja bit his lip. "…Outside the Elemental Countries."

Naruto cursed. "Well, great. Try to pinpoint the location of her chakra!"

The ninja nodded. "Yes, sir!"

After the rumors that Gaara was in love with Harry Potter started, Gaara cracked and decided to use his Third Eye to keep a... well, _eye_ on Potter.

That didn't stop Harry from giving Gaara freaked out looks and make him avoid his 'stalker', however.

Gaara didn't really mind, since that meant that Potter's friend, Hermione, would stop questioning him at random about Shukaku and how it was related to his partial-insomnia (he did sleep sometimes, it was just hard for him to fall asleep in the first place. He told everyone he didn't sleep because the looks on their faces were hilarious.).

He was happy, the other Kage were happy (that they got to get out of the library), Dumbledore was happy, and Potter was happy (that Gaara had stopped tailing him).

* * *

><p>"Today, we will be showing you how we manipulate chakra!" said Mei cheerfully.<p>

Everyone started muttering excitedly.

"Finally!"

"I can't wait to do those cool moves they used in our first class!"

"Awesome!"

"SHUT UP!" shouted Tsunade.

Everyone was silent.

"We will NOT be showing you how to manipulate chakra!" snapped Tsunade. "That's a village secret!"

"What?" snapped Malfoy. "Why not? You're our teachers!"

Mei smiled indulgingly. "I'm afraid Tsunade did not explain why we can't teach you how to manipulate chakra properly. After extensive research-" (Gaara coughed at this. They had actually accidently found out that wizards and witched couldn't use chakra by accident) "-we found out that wizards cannot use chakra because they had so little that they would die if they tried to do a jutsu!"

Everyone started muttering furiously at this.

"What?!"

"Unfair!"

"You mean we can't do those jutsie thingies?"

"Aw, man, I was so looking forward to using them on my brother!"

"SHUT UP!" screeched Tsunade.

Everyone was silent.

"The other reason why we won't teach you is because you're a bunch of whiny brats!" snapped Onoki, finally at his wit's end.

"Ninja learn jutsu in order to protect their village!" agreed A. "Not for petty things such as chores or pranks!"

* * *

><p>"AW, MAN, SAKURA'S COMING TO VISIT!"<p>

Naruto started to hyperventilate. "I STILL haven't finished my paperwork!"

He stared at the huge pile (it looked more like a mountain in Naruto's opinion) of paperwork he hadn't bothered to do. "SAKURA'S GOING TO KILL ME!"

After a moment, he face-palmed.

"Of course! Why didn't I think of that before? KAGE BUNSHIN NO JUTSU!"

* * *

><p>A sneezed.<p>

Gaara decided that this was not the time to inform A that he had used his sand to wash the dishes and clean the house before. Though it was only because Temari had threatened to kill him if he didn't.

Kankuro had begged Gaara to teach him how to manipulate sand after Gaara had finished all of the chores in less than five minutes.

Who knew that Sand Coffin was so useful? Actually, who knew that plates were so durable?

The class scowled, but didn't say anything.

"Very well, since we have gotten that out of the way… Lord Kazekage, walk on the lake for me," ordered Onoki.

Gaara narrowed his eyes. Everyone in the Elemental Countries knew full and well that he HATED water more than anything. Even Madara.

Onoki smirked, while Hermione looked slightly flabbergasted. "What?! You can walk on water?!"

"All genin can do it," said Gaara, still glaring at Onoki.

He stepped over to the shore (the classes were held at the edge of the lake, so he didn't have to walk that far) and placed his foot on the surface of the water.

Everyone (excluding the ninja, of course) held their breaths.

Gaara nonchalantly water-walked towards the center of the Black Lake.

Hermione's eyes were bugging out of her head. Harry looked like a fish with his mouth opening and shutting.

"Why don't we play a game, Kazekage-san?" asked Mei sweetly. Gaara narrowed his eyes in suspicion.

"You dodge while we throw jutsu at you! And you have to stay on the water!" said Mei brightly. Tsunade, A, and Onoki smiled evilly.

Gaara widened his eyes. "Wait! –"

"Three, two, one, begin!"

* * *

><p>"Lord Hokage!"<p>

Naruto had finally finished his paperwork, continuously thanking whoever invented the Kage Bunshin.

Up in heaven (or the Death God's stomach), the First, Third, and Fourth Hokage cried as they realized that they could've just used Kage Bunshin to finish their paperwork.

The Second Hokage just shook his head at their idiocy. He had been lucky enough to realize that Kage Bunshin was a godsend when it came to paperwork.

"We have pinpointed the location of Lady Mizukage's chakra! Furthermore, we have found Lord Raikage, Kazekage, and Tsuchikage's signatures as well!" said the ninja excitedly.

Naruto leaned slightly forward eagerly. "But what about Granny Tsunade?"

Sakura had arrived just in time to hear the conversation.

"Naruto, Tsunade uses mostly physical attacks unless she's using a healing jutsu," explained Sakura. "If she hasn't healed anyone yet, then there's a good chance that she's used little to no chakra at all."

Naruto slumped in relief. "Thank Kami! Alright, Sakura, could you fetch the retrieval team for me?"

Sakura nodded, and left. She was kind of peeved that she hadn't gotten the chance to speak to Naruto, though.

Oh well, this was more important.

* * *

><p>Hinata, Neji, Sasuke, and Kankuro stood calmly before the temporary Hokage.<p>

Actually, Hinata was blushing, Neji was scowling at Naruto for being oblivious to Hinata's crush on him, Sasuke acted like he had the personality of a rock (as always), and Kankuro was tapping his foot impatiently.

The other temporary Kage had arrived as well. When they heard that the real Kage were found, they had rushed to Konoha immediately.

"Kankuro, be careful! Got it?" hissed Temari. "Or else I'll kill you!"

Kankuro sweat-dropped, but nodded. "Don't worry, I will."

"Alright, people, all of our best minds have come together and figured out how the Kage were transported somewhere else, and have recreated the… portal-thingy," finished Naruto awkwardly.

"And I was thinking that Naruto had finally matured," muttered Sakura.

Naruto glared at her playfully. "I _have_ matured! I only play one prank a week now!"

Sakura's eye twitched. "You call that _mature_?"

Temari punched Naruto in the head. "Get on with it!"

Naruto clutched his head painfully. "Ow… Sasuke has to activate his Mangekyou, and at the same time, the others have to use their chakra. All at the same time," added Naruto.

"And how do we get back?" asked Neji.

"Reverse summoning! I know that Tsunade can summon slugs, and slugs are friendly, unlike Sasuke's hawks and snakes, so she can have a slug reverse-summon everyone back!" answered Naruto.

Everyone stared at him.

Naruto stared back. "What?"

"That was… smart," admitted Sasuke.

Naruto scowled. "What, you thought I was incapable of thinking?"

"Yes."

Naruto's eye twitched. "Whatever, just go."

* * *

><p><strong>Omake: The Two Counselors<strong>

Neji Hyuuga entered the room.

And promptly stared.

Gaara stared back.

Lee smiled. "My youthful teammate! How nice to see you! Now, let us do our youthful breathing exercises!"

"One, two, one, two…"

Gaara's eye twitched.

"_You're_ my counselors?" said Neji in disbelief.

Lee paused. "Yes!"

"No wonder Uchiha was running like a mouse from a cat," muttered Neji.

He walked out the door and said to the unfortunate ANBU, "You did not inform me of this. Therefore, your destiny is to die."

Neji walked out of the building. The ANBU's eye twitched noticeably beneath the mask.

A hawk arrived with a scroll. The ANBU opened it and sighed after reading the contents.

"You have another patient," he said.

Two minutes later, the door slid open again, revealing…

* * *

><p><strong>AN: This is another idea I had! For some odd, odd reason, no one has done a fic about a school of genin yet!**

"So, whatcha need, Granny Tsunade?" asked Naruto, who had just came into the Hokage's office along with all the other Genin. "And what are these Genin doing here?"

"Hey, hey, Naruto!" shouted Konohamaru, waving and jumping over to him. "It must be a super-cool A-rank mission if you're here!"

Naruto grinned at him while Tsunade cleared her throat.

"Alright, Genin, the reason you were all gathered up her is because…" She handed a sheet of paper over to Naruto. "Read it out loud, Naruto."

Tsunade looked like a happy shark, which really didn't reassure the Genin.

Naruto grumbled at the injustice of still being a Genin, and read the piece of paper, his face slowly paling.

"'In order to strengthen bonds between Konohagakure and Sunagakure, all Genin from each village are required to go to a boarding school- GRANNY TSUNADE, WE ALL WENT TO THE ACADEMY! ISN'T THAT ENOUGH?!" shouted Naruto.

Tsunade glared at him. "Shut up and read, you dolt."

Naruto scowled. "'All Genin from each village that are under the age of 17 are required to go to boarding school. Jonin and the occasional Chunin will teach classes. They will rotate, so you will probably be seeing a different Jonin or Chunin every day for each class.'"

"WHAT?!" shouted Konohamaru. "That's unfair!"

"Granny Tsunade, I'm totally at JONIN level! Why in the world do I have to go to school?!" yelled Naruto furiously.

"We went to the Academy! Isn't that enough?"

"What?!"

"Why?"

"Do we have to do missions there?"

"A school with Suna genin?"

"What?!"

"SHUT UP!" screamed Tsunade, glaring at the Genin. Everyone was instantly quiet.

"You are going to school, and that's it. And yes, occasionally you will be doing missions," snapped Tsunade.

Moegi raised her hand. "What will we be learning?"

Tsunade grinned. "That's for the Kazekage and me to know, and you Genin to find out."

Naruto groaned.

"Stop groaning, there will be weekly tournaments to gauge your progress," snapped Tsunade.

Naruto brightened at the prospect of weekly tournaments. Though it still sucked that he was still a genin.

* * *

><p>"Welcome to the Suna-Konoha Genin Academy!" yelled Temari. Tsunade and the three hundred genin on the ground below the stage looked at her curiously.<p>

Temari smiled. "In case you're wondering why I'm up here instead of the Kazekage… well… heh heh… Let's just say that he never entered another Chunin exam after the one when he was eleven, and didn't promote himself after he became Kazekage. And he's under the age of seventeen."

There was silence as the genin's jaws hit the floor. The Kazekage was still a genin?!

"WHAT?! KANKURO, TEMARI, I'M GOING TO MURDER YOU!"

A grin appeared on Naruto's face while the other genin were still trying to comprehend that the Kazekage was a genin.

Said Kazekage appeared on the stage in a swirl of sand, glaring at Temari, who giggled and waved.

Gaara scowled, then smiled, making all those who were acquainted with him shiver. Gaara almost never smiled.

Scratch that, he NEVER smiled unless he was killing someone, which didn't happen as much nowadays.

"Temari, since I apparently have to go to school…" He paused, an evil look on his face. "I'm afraid I can't do my paperwork as I have to sit in a classroom for six hours a day. You're going to have to be the temporary Kazekage in my absence."

Temari paled comically. "B-but, Gaara… Y-you h-have t-thousands o-of p-pages t-to f-fill o-out a-and r-read…"

"I would never be able to finish my paperwork along with my homework," said Gaara calmly.

"Ah ha ha ha ha… KANKURO, REVOKE HIS SCHOLARSHIP OR SOMETHING!" shouted Temari.

"I CAN'T!" yelled a voice in reply.

"THEN YOU'LL BE DOING PAPERWORK WITH ME!" screeched Temari.

There was a pause.

"WHAT?! WHAT PAPERWORK?!"

"GAARA'S, STUPID!"

"OH NO!"

Gaara smiled cleverly.

Naruto choked back his laughter.

The rest of the Rookie Twelve (excluding Sasuke and Sai) thanked their lucky stars that they had been promoted in time to escape going to school AGAIN.

* * *

><p>"Sasuke…" hissed Orochimaru, eyes glinting more evilly than usual.<p>

Feeling slightly worried, Sasuke stepped forward silently.

To the immense shock of everyone in the room (Kabuto and Sasuke), Orochimaru banged his fist on his Desk of Doom (as he so fondly called it).

"Pathetic, Uchiha!" hissed Orochimaru furiously.

Sasuke narrowed his eyes. "What?"

Orochimaru twitched. "You are going to be my vessel, but… YOU'RE STILL A GENIN!"

Sasuke twitched as well. He really didn't like being reminded of the fact that he was still a genin.

Kabuto snickered quietly.

"Fortunately, I have remedied this. Hopefully," muttered Orochimaru, whipping out a scroll and shoving it towards Sasuke. "Read it."

Sasuke unfurled the scroll. "'I, Orochimaru the Great, the greatest of the three great Sannin, Ultimate Snake Lord, blah blah blah-" "Hey!" "-has agreed to, in exchange for Sasuke Uchiha's entrance to the Suna-Konoha Genin Academy and his promotion to Chunin, not to do anything harmful to Konoha or anything related to Konoha (including ninja and civilians) in any way for two years.'" He stared at Orochimaru along with Kabuto. "How in the world did you get Tsunade to agree with this?!"

Orochimaru grinned. "I have my ways." He started cackling evilly.

Sasuke was even more worried now.

Orochimaru stopped cackling and became serious. "There are a few ground rules, however. One, no killing, even if the person is annoying," he said sternly.

Sasuke snorted. "This is coming from you, who experimented on human beings and killed them."

Orochimaru whistled innocently. "Second, no permanent damage inflicted on other people. Third, no evil stuff, period."

Sasuke mumbled, "Hypocrite…"

Orochimaru smiled brightly. "That's it for now!"

Kabuto started laughing. Orochimaru turned to him, making him freeze.

"Oh, my dear Kabuto, surely you haven't forgotten!" He chuckled. "I can't have my assistant be a genin!"

Kabuto looked horrified while Sasuke laughed evilly.

* * *

><p>"Why have we been summoned here, Lord Pein?" drawled Itachi.<p>

Pein smiled, making the Akatsuki shiver. "Itachi Uchiha… one of the youngest ANBU captains in history. Accomplished Jonin and S-rank missing nin."

Itachi 'hn-ed'. "So you finally realized my brilliance and decided to praise me in front of everyone. How touching."

Deidara scowled.

Pein smiled once more. "All of you… Accomplished Jonin and also S-ranked missing nin."

The Akatsuki looked confused.

Pein's smile looked slightly sinister now. "Did you know that… Once a ninja becomes a missing-nin… they are automatically demoted to Genin by default."

Everyone gasped in horror.

Pein's eye twitched. "This is unacceptable. In order to remedy this partially, I have signed a contract with Konoha and Suna, who are apparently hosting a school for genin. Apparently, genin who do well on the exams at the end of the school year will be promoted to Chunin."

Kisame raised his hand. "But most of us aren't from Konoha or Suna."

Pein sighed. "Ah, yes. Unfortunately, because of this little snag, only Itachi and Sasori are allowed to go. Also, I have agreed to not harm Konoha or Suna in any way until three months after the school year is over. We will have to wait to snatch the Ichibi."

Deidara cackled evilly at the sight of Itachi's horrified face.

"Also, the remaining Akatsuki members are required to teach, as part of the contract," added Pein.

"WHAAAT?!"

* * *

><p>Orochimaru sighed and wrote ANOTHER scroll to Tsunade. It seemed as though that missing-nin were declared genin once they became missing-nin.<p>

He would NOT become the strongest ninja as a genin. Unacceptable.

* * *

><p><strong>Somewhere in Konoha…<strong>

Tsunade laughed as she thought of the two contracts she had signed with Orochimaru (the traitor!) and the one with the Akatsuki.

This was going to be an interesting year.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Can anyone guess why the ninja were able to pinpoint the Kage's chakra? **


	5. Merry Christmas! (I think AU)

**A/N: It's short. And it's pretty bad. But I really didn't have time to do anything else, so merry Christmas, and hopefully I'll update by January!**

* * *

><p>"Gaaaraaa!" sang Naruto, bursting into Gaara's office. "Happy Christmas!"<p>

Gaara looked up from his paperwork, annoyed. "Isn't it merry Christmas? Also, where in the world did you even come from?"

Naruto grinned. "Temari's sick –" "I know." " – so I'm the diplomat now!"

Gaara stared at him blankly. "…what?"

Naruto huffed. "Whatever! C'mon, that paperwork can wait for another day."

"Naruto, I'm the Kazekage, I can't just – "

"Let's go!" shouted Naruto, dragging the Kazekage out of his office.

* * *

><p>"…Naruto, why are there Cloud ninja in Suna? And is that a missing-nin?"<p>

Naruto laughed sheepishly. "You see… I sort of went around from village to village to gather all the jinchuriki that are still alive to invite them over for Christmas!"

"…and you couldn't be bothered to have this jinchuriki party in Konoha?"

Naruto laughed nervously. "Uh, you see, granny Tsunade wouldn't let me…"

"And you didn't think that maybe I wouldn't let you as well?"

Naruto pouted at Gaara. "Oh, come on! Why not?"

Gaara glared at his idiotic friend. "For one, it looks like you kidnapped them. If you cause a political war, I am tossing you right to the Raikage."

"MMPH HMMPH (LET ME GO, YOU PIECE OF KONOHA FILTH!)!" yelled Yugito angrily.

"Mmph mmp uumph, oom a oom~ (You gathered all of the jinchuriki? Fool ya fool~)!" said Bee.

"? (What the heck is happening?)" said Fu.

"Oomaru ee oe o ee me (Hotaru is going to kill me…)," muttered Utakata.

"Come on, can't we at least have some fun? I mean, I'm sure the Raikage would understand!"

"M, nuh ee wonuh, oo a oo… (Um, no, he wouldn't, fool ya fool)" said Bee.

"Mmph mmph mmph! (I can't wait until the Raikage gets his hands on you, you Yellow Flash doppelganger!)" said Yugito viciously.

"...Naruto..."

Naruto smiled. "Yeah, Gaara?"

"...Return them now or else I'm going to perform Desert Coffin on you."

* * *

><p>5 minutes later...<p>

_Hmmm... The Yellow Flash doppelganger is even faster than the Yellow Flash himself_, thought Yugito as she was dumped in front of the Raikage's office along with Bee.


End file.
